Trust Issues Hoodie

Ah yes… the world’s most toxic loyalty program.
No cashback. No closure. Just emotional damage and suspiciously strong cocktails.

This hoodie is for the people who survived the relationship, blocked the number, and now instinctively side-eye every “hey stranger” text that comes through. Warm, ridiculously comfy, and dripping in chaotic humor, it’s the perfect layer for heartbreak recovery, girls’ nights, pub trips, or dramatically pretending you’re “totally over it.”

The soft brushed fabric feels like therapy you didn’t have to explain your childhood to, while the bold front print lets everyone know your ex contributed absolutely nothing useful to society. Featuring a roomy kangaroo pocket for cold hands or emotional support snacks, plus a double-lined hood for hiding from accountability and/or your ex in public.

Because some people leave memories.
Others leave trust issues and a frightening alcohol tolerance.

🍻 Product Features

• 50/50 cotton-poly midweight (8.0 oz) — soft, cozy, and built for emotional support
• Tubular knit (no side seams) for a cleaner fit than your last relationship
• Double-lined hood with matching drawcord + kangaroo pocket
• Crisp DTF/DTG print options plus embroidery available
• Tear-away label, OEKO-TEX-certified dyes, ethically sourced materials

🧼 Care Instructions

• Machine wash cold (max 30°C)
• Tumble dry medium
• Iron/steam on low heat
• Do not dry clean
• Non-chlorine bleach as needed