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Warm, ridiculously comfy, and dripping in chaotic humor, it’s the perfect layer for heartbreak recovery, girls’ nights, pub trips, or dramatically pretending you’re “totally over it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"553\" data-end=\"905\"\u003eThe soft brushed fabric feels like therapy you didn’t have to explain your childhood to, while the bold front print lets everyone know your ex contributed absolutely nothing useful to society. Featuring a roomy kangaroo pocket for cold hands or emotional support snacks, plus a double-lined hood for hiding from accountability and\/or your ex in public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"907\" data-end=\"1007\"\u003eBecause some people leave memories.\u003cbr data-start=\"942\" data-end=\"945\"\u003eOthers leave trust issues and a frightening alcohol tolerance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1009\" data-end=\"1012\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"olk4od\" data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e🍻 Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"t66opx\" data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003e50\/50 cotton-poly midweight (8.0 oz) — soft, cozy, and built for emotional support\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"2s5lx0\" data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1205\"\u003eTubular knit (no side seams) for a cleaner fit than your last relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ijwg2o\" 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Soft, cozy, and absolutely loaded with petty energy, it’s the perfect hoodie for girls’ nights, bar crawls, revenge glow-ups, or casually causing chaos in the supermarket aisle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"502\" data-end=\"851\"\u003eThe bold front print delivers the joke before you even say a word, while the plush midweight fabric keeps you warm during cold weather and colder conversations. 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data-end=\"103\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour ex apparently owned the food court.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"145\" data-end=\"452\"\u003eThis hoodie is for anyone who dated someone with \u003cem data-start=\"194\" data-end=\"200\"\u003ezero\u003c\/em\u003e loyalty and a suspiciously full contact list. Cozy, soft, and loaded with chaotic humor, it’s the perfect fit for heartbreak recovery, boys’ nights, gym runs, pub sessions, or standing there looking smug while your friends say, “Nahhh that’s foul 💀.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"454\" data-end=\"795\"\u003eThe bold front print brings instant laughs, while the brushed midweight fabric keeps you warm during cold weather and even colder realizations. Featuring a roomy kangaroo pocket for your phone, wallet, or receipts from all the bad decisions you survived, plus a double-lined hood for those “please don’t let me run into my ex today” moments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"77\" data-end=\"208\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"797\" data-end=\"898\"\u003eBecause dating them taught you one thing:\u003cbr data-start=\"838\" data-end=\"841\"\u003esome people don’t believe in loyalty… only variety packs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1009\" data-end=\"1012\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"olk4od\" data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e🍻 Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"t66opx\" data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003e50\/50 cotton-poly midweight (8.0 oz) — soft, cozy, and built for emotional support\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"2s5lx0\" data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1205\"\u003eTubular knit (no side seams) for a cleaner fit than your last relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ijwg2o\" data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eDouble-lined hood with matching drawcord + kangaroo pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1x6j0iz\" data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003eCrisp DTF\/DTG print options plus embroidery available\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"43wb3i\" data-start=\"1327\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003eTear-away label, OEKO-TEX-certified dyes, ethically sourced materials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"4cmjyy\" data-start=\"1407\" data-end=\"1433\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"35\" data-end=\"124\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1eiyngh\" data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1466\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1gdc7bx\" data-start=\"1467\" data-end=\"1488\"\u003eTumble dry medium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"d076fy\" data-start=\"1489\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003eIron\/steam on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gw4xp8\" data-start=\"1516\" data-end=\"1536\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1mwuzoq\" data-start=\"1537\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":46722694414473,"sku":"32817811615077081717","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":46722694447241,"sku":"28180096068728525608","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S","offer_id":46722694480009,"sku":"33472659424844592903","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange \/ 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Soft, cozy, and painfully relatable, it’s made for late-night drives, coffee runs, breakup glow-ups, or pretending you’re healed while reposting suspiciously specific TikToks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"537\" data-end=\"898\"\u003eThe bold front print says exactly what everyone learns the hard way eventually: loyalty is priceless… unfortunately your ex was shopping in the clearance section. 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data-end=\"1488\"\u003eTumble dry medium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"d076fy\" data-start=\"1489\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003eIron\/steam on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gw4xp8\" data-start=\"1516\" data-end=\"1536\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1mwuzoq\" data-start=\"1537\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":46728040874121,"sku":"18286476769674456648","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":46728040906889,"sku":"14200281039067773858","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Military Green \/ S","offer_id":46728040939657,"sku":"32162093563628522414","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 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Soft, cozy, and loaded with gamer energy, it’s perfect for late-night gaming sessions, Discord calls, fast food runs, or pretending you’re offline emotionally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"472\" data-end=\"765\"\u003eThe bold front print delivers peak toxic gamer humor, while the brushed midweight fabric keeps you comfortable through every rage quit and relationship respawn. Featuring a roomy kangaroo pocket for your phone, snacks, or controller, plus a double-lined hood for maximum “do not disturb” mode.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"767\" data-end=\"872\"\u003eBecause sometimes communication is important…\u003cbr data-start=\"812\" data-end=\"815\"\u003eand sometimes muting them improves the entire experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1009\" data-end=\"1012\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"olk4od\" data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e🍻 Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"t66opx\" data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003e50\/50 cotton-poly midweight (8.0 oz) — soft, cozy, and built for emotional support\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"2s5lx0\" data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1205\"\u003eTubular knit (no side seams) for a cleaner fit than your last relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ijwg2o\" data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eDouble-lined hood with matching drawcord + kangaroo pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1x6j0iz\" data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003eCrisp DTF\/DTG print options plus embroidery available\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"43wb3i\" data-start=\"1327\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003eTear-away label, OEKO-TEX-certified dyes, ethically sourced materials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"4cmjyy\" data-start=\"1407\" data-end=\"1433\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"35\" data-end=\"124\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1eiyngh\" data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1466\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1gdc7bx\" data-start=\"1467\" data-end=\"1488\"\u003eTumble dry medium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"d076fy\" data-start=\"1489\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003eIron\/steam on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gw4xp8\" data-start=\"1516\" data-end=\"1536\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1mwuzoq\" data-start=\"1537\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":46730006757513,"sku":"96985348468377449421","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ S","offer_id":46730006790281,"sku":"28092930595437798769","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ S","offer_id":46730006823049,"sku":"28019446535092504872","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":46730006855817,"sku":"33981840696151293234","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ 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Cozy, soft, and loaded with chaotic post-breakup energy, it’s perfect for late-night gaming sessions, energy drink runs, Discord therapy, or pretending you’re over it while queueing ranked at 3am.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"413\" data-end=\"750\"\u003eThe bold front print looks like a system update nobody asked for — except this time the toxic files are getting deleted permanently. Featuring brushed midweight fabric, a roomy kangaroo pocket for your controller or snacks, and a double-lined hood for entering full “do not disturb” mode after another emotionally damaging situationship.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"77\" data-end=\"208\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"752\" data-end=\"821\"\u003eBecause healing takes time…\u003cbr data-start=\"779\" data-end=\"782\"\u003ebut uninstalling them is a solid start.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1009\" data-end=\"1012\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"olk4od\" data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e🍻 Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"t66opx\" data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003e50\/50 cotton-poly midweight (8.0 oz) — soft, cozy, and built for emotional support\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"2s5lx0\" data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1205\"\u003eTubular knit (no side seams) for a cleaner fit than your last relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ijwg2o\" data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eDouble-lined hood with matching drawcord + kangaroo pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1x6j0iz\" data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003eCrisp DTF\/DTG print options plus embroidery available\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"43wb3i\" data-start=\"1327\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003eTear-away label, OEKO-TEX-certified dyes, ethically sourced materials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"4cmjyy\" data-start=\"1407\" data-end=\"1433\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1eiyngh\" data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1466\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1gdc7bx\" data-start=\"1467\" data-end=\"1488\"\u003eTumble dry medium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"d076fy\" data-start=\"1489\" data-end=\"1515\"\u003eIron\/steam on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"gw4xp8\" data-start=\"1516\" data-end=\"1536\"\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1mwuzoq\" data-start=\"1537\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":46730333454473,"sku":"27001081849875348041","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":46730333487241,"sku":"51205306368535075731","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":46730333520009,"sku":"47946131272594704227","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":46730333552777,"sku":"13716698616899610819","price":55.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":46730333585545,"sku":"30869181260866297796","price":60.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":46730333618313,"sku":"11580946311506449316","price":65.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":46730333651081,"sku":"13332235355424934082","price":65.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":46730333683849,"sku":"31328624435391302743","price":65.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0758\/8033\/3449\/files\/20260518094411-1f1529e1-fe70-6812-a4a2-0a647f7e7424.png?v=1779097488"},{"product_id":"npc-hoodie","title":"NPC Hoodie","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"51\" data-end=\"118\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eImagine getting outperformed by computer-generated side characters.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"120\" data-end=\"431\"\u003eThis hoodie is for the gamers who trusted their ex less than a suspicious autosave file — and somehow still got betrayed. Soft, cozy, and dangerously relatable, it’s perfect for gaming marathons, late-night rage sessions, energy drink runs, or laughing through the emotional damage with the squad on voice chat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"433\" data-end=\"793\"\u003eThe bold front print delivers elite gamer breakup humor, while the brushed midweight fabric keeps you comfortable through every respawn, heartbreak, and “last game before bed” lie. Featuring a roomy kangaroo pocket for your hands, snacks, or controller, plus a double-lined hood for entering full anti-social mode after seeing your ex online with somebody new.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"77\" data-end=\"208\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"795\" data-end=\"884\"\u003eBecause at least NPCs stick to the storyline.\u003cbr data-start=\"840\" data-end=\"843\"\u003eYour ex was out here running side quests.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1009\" data-end=\"1012\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"olk4od\" data-start=\"1014\" data-end=\"1039\"\u003e🍻 Product Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"t66opx\" data-start=\"1040\" data-end=\"1126\"\u003e50\/50 cotton-poly midweight (8.0 oz) — soft, cozy, and built for emotional support\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"2s5lx0\" data-start=\"1127\" data-end=\"1205\"\u003eTubular knit (no side seams) for a cleaner fit than your last relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"ijwg2o\" data-start=\"1206\" data-end=\"1268\"\u003eDouble-lined hood with matching drawcord + kangaroo pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1x6j0iz\" data-start=\"1269\" data-end=\"1326\"\u003eCrisp DTF\/DTG print options plus embroidery available\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"43wb3i\" data-start=\"1327\" data-end=\"1400\"\u003eTear-away label, OEKO-TEX-certified dyes, ethically sourced materials\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1402\" data-end=\"1405\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"4cmjyy\" data-start=\"1407\" data-end=\"1433\"\u003e🧼 Care Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"35\" data-end=\"124\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1570\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1eiyngh\" data-start=\"1434\" data-end=\"1466\"\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-section-id=\"1gdc7bx\" 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Soft, cozy, and packed with pixelated heartbreak humor, it’s perfect for gaming nights, snack runs, Discord calls, or emotionally processing your lore while strip mining at 2am.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"480\" data-end=\"835\"\u003eThe bold front print delivers instant gamer chaos, while the brushed midweight fabric keeps you warm through every respawn, heartbreak, and “one more block” moment. 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